More Than a Month: How Parents and Educators Can Truly Support LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health
- Gordon Gooding
- 5 hours ago
- 8 min read
By Gordon Gooding, LCSW | Gooding Wellness Group
June is Pride Month. It is a time of celebration, community, and color. But for the mental health professionals at Gooding Wellness and around Long Island, June is also a time for honest conversation. Because behind the rainbow flags and parades is a reality we see in our therapy offices every week: LGBTQ+ youth are one of our most vulnerable populations, and they need more than symbolic support.
The statistics are sobering. According to The Trevor Project's 2025 U.S. National Survey on LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health, LGBTQ+ youth continue to experience alarmingly high rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Not because of who they are, but because of how they are treated, stigmatized, and too often unseen by the adults who love them most.
The good news? Whether you are a teacher, coach, grandparent, or parent, your capacity to impact this situation is likely greater than you realize.
This guide is for you.
The Mental Health Reality We Can't Ignore
Before we talk about what to do, we need to talk about what's happening.
The data from the Trevor Project's 2025 National Survey and their landmark 2025 longitudinal study (which followed nearly 1,700 LGBTQ+ young people over 18 months, paints a clear and urgent picture:
Nearly half of LGBTQ+ youth (44%) were unable to access the mental health care they needed, despite desperately wanting it.
Rates of anxiety among LGBTQ+ youth rose from 57% to 68% over the study period.
Depressive symptoms climbed from 48% to 54%.
Suicidal ideation increased from 41% to 47%.
12% of LGBTQ+ young people attempted suicide in the past year — including 14% of transgender and nonbinary youth.
Transgender and nonbinary youth were nearly twice as likely to report anxiety (70% vs. 42%) and suicidal ideation (53% vs. 28%) compared to their cisgender peers.
LGBTQ+ students who reported being bullied had three times greater odds of attempting suicide.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), LGBTQ+ teens are six times more likely to experience symptoms of depression than the general population.
These aren't abstract numbers. They are teenagers sitting in classrooms, eating dinner at kitchen tables, and lying awake at night wondering whether the people who matter most to them will still love them when they finally say the words out loud.
The research also offers us something powerful: hope, in the form of data-driven evidence for what actually helps.
Living in an LGBTQ+-affirming home was linked to 37% lower odds of suicidal thoughts. High family support was associated with 62% lower odds of suicidal ideation. Encouraging adults, such as parents, educators, and mentors, does more than just enhance the lives of LGBTQ+ youth. Their involvement can be the critical factor that saves lives.
Understanding the Coming Out Journey
"Coming out" is not a single conversation. It is an ongoing, evolving, deeply personal process and it rarely follows a predictable timeline.
Many LGBTQ+ children begin to sense that they are "different" well before they have words for it. Some recall these feelings as far back as preschool. Children may begin exploring gender identity and relationships before kindergarten. For others, the awareness crystallizes during puberty, as they develop stronger romantic attractions and a clearer sense of gender identity.
The coming out process typically moves through several emotional stages:
"I think I might be gay. I'm not sure, and I don't know how to feel about it."
This is often the beginning. Young people start to wonder whether they might be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, nonbinary, or another identity they're still discovering language for. Many try to suppress or ignore these feelings, to fit in, to avoid disappointing their families, or simply because they don't yet understand what they're experiencing.
This suppression carries a real cost. The emotional labor of hiding one's authentic self increases the risk of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. Having a safe, accepting environment at home is not a luxury, it is a protective factor with measurable and lasting mental health benefits.
"I accept who I am, but what will my family and friends say?"
Some teens reach a place of personal acceptance before they're ready to share with others. This is completely normal. Some teens will feel comfortable being open fairly quickly; others may not tell anyone for a long time. During this stage, the messages a young person hears around them matter enormously.
If they hear their identity joked about, dismissed, or condemned (even in passing, even not directed at them) it can register as: "I am not safe here."
If they hear affirming, respectful language and see adults standing up for LGBTQ+ people and values, the message is: "I might be okay to be myself here."
For Parents: What Your Child Needs From You
Parenting and raising an LGBTQ+ child can trigger a complex spectrum of feelings, from pride and joy to confusion, grief, and fear. These reactions are natural and valid. Ultimately, the most crucial element is ensuring your child understands that your affection is non-conditional, regardless of whether they align with your initial expectations.
Here is what the research and clinical experience tell us actually helps:
Respond with love first, questions later. When your child shares something vulnerable (anything vulnerable), your first response sets the tone for everything that follows. A hug, "Thank you for trusting me," or simply "I love you and nothing changes that," can be more healing than any perfect speech.
Validate without minimizing. Avoid phrases like "it's just a phase" or "you're too young to know." These responses, however well-intentioned, signal to your child that their inner experience is not trustworthy or real. True gender identity and sexual orientation cannot be changed and attempts to suppress or change them are associated with significantly worse mental health outcomes.
Stand up for your child. If they feel they are being bullied, take it seriously. Don't minimize the social pressure LGBTQ+ youth experience. Harrasment in any form, verbal, physical, or online, carries real mental health consequences and challenges, including elevated suicide risk.
Watch for warning signs. Be alert to symptoms of anxiety, depression, withdrawal, changes in sleep or appetite, declining school performance, or any talk of hopelessness or self-harm. These are not teenage mood swings to wait out, they are signals to take action and seek professional support.
Educate yourself. You don't need to understand everything right away. But showing your child that you're willing to learn sends a powerful message. Read, attend a PFLAG meeting, or speak with an LGBTQ+-affirming therapist. You are not expected to be perfect. You are expected to try.
Support gender expression. Clothing, hairstyles, pronouns, and names matter deeply to LGBTQ+ youth. Supporting your child's self-expression is one of the most concrete ways to demonstrate acceptance.
Process your own feelings, separately. It's okay if you need time to process your child's disclosure. Seek your own support through PFLAG, therapy, or trusted friends. Do not process your grief or confusion with your child in ways that put the burden of your feelings on them. As you take the time you need, make sure your child knows your love is not in question.
Know the Facts
It's not "just a phase." Accept and validate. Don't dismiss their developing sense of self.
There is nothing to "cure." Sexual orientation and gender identity are not problems to be fixed. Conversion therapy is not only ineffective, it is harmful and linked to significantly higher rates of depression and suicidal ideation.
Don't look for someone to blame. Nothing you did caused this. Love your child for who they are.
Resources for Parents
PFLAG — Support, education, and advocacy for LGBTQ+ people, their families, and allies. Local chapters available across the country, including Long Island.
The Trevor Project — Crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth under 25. TrevorLifeline: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7)
Family Acceptance Project — Research-based resources to help families support LGBTQ+ children and reduce health risks.
Gender Spectrum — Training, support, and resources for families of gender-diverse youth.
HRC LGBTQ+ Youth Resources — Practical tools from the Human Rights Campaign.
For Educators: Building Schools Where LGBTQ+ Students Thrive
Schools can be sanctuaries. They can also be sources of daily harm. The data makes this painfully clear: LGBTQ+ youth who feel safe and affirmed at school fare significantly better mentally and academically. Those who don't are at substantially higher risk.
According to GLSEN research, many LGBTQ+ students hear anti-LGBTQ+ language routinely in school hallways and classrooms, and many do not feel they can report it to staff. Nearly half of LGBTQ+ youth experience bullying at school.
This is not inevitable. Teachers and school staff have tremendous power to shift this culture.
Small acts with big impact:
Intervene when anti-LGBTQ+ language is used, including casual phrases like "that's so gay." Silence implies permission.
Include LGBTQ+ voices, authors, and historical figures in your curriculum, not just in October or June, but throughout the year.
Display a "Safe Space" or "All Are Welcome Here" sign in your classroom. It signals safety before a student has said a word.
Use inclusive language in assignments and classroom discussions. Instead of "mom and dad," say "your family." Instead of "boys and girls," try "students" or "everyone."
Know your school's reporting and support protocols for LGBTQ+ students experiencing bullying or harassment.
Support or help establish a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) club. Research shows GSAs are associated with better mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ students.
Participate in professional development on LGBTQ+ inclusion and gender diversity.
When a student comes to you: Listen without judgment. Maintain confidentiality appropriately. Connect them with your school counselor. And know that simply being a trusted adult who responds with care can be life-changing.
Resources for Educators
GLSEN — The leading education organization working to create safe, affirming schools for LGBTQ+ students. Curriculum guides, professional development, and research.
GSA Network — Supports student-led Gender and Sexuality Alliance clubs across the country.
Advocates for Youth — Resources on LGBTQ+ health and rights in educational settings.
When to Seek Professional Support
If your child or student is showing signs of significant depression, anxiety, withdrawal, or is expressing hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm, please don't wait to reach out for help.
At the Gooding Wellness Group, we provide LGBTQ+ affirming therapy for youth, teens, and young adults, as well as child and adolescent counseling and support for parents navigating this journey. Our clinicians are trained to provide a safe, inclusive, non-judgmental space where LGBTQ+ young people can be fully themselves.
If you or someone you know is in crisis:
Trevor Project TrevorLifeline: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7, call or text)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
The Bottom Line
Pride Month is a celebration and we celebrate with the LGBTQ+ youth, families, and allies in our community wholeheartedly. But celebration and action are not mutually exclusive. The young people in our lives need both.
They need us to cheer them on. They need us to show up at the parade. And they need us to be the kind of parent, teacher, or adult who makes them feel, on an ordinary Wednesday in November, that they are loved, that they belong, and that they are not alone.
That is a gift that lasts far beyond June.
Written by Gordon Gooding, LCSW
Gooding Wellness Group
147 Main Street, Cold Spring Harbor, NY
Supporting LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health
Statistics sourced from: The Trevor Project 2025 U.S. National Survey on LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health; The Trevor Project Project SPARK Longitudinal Study (2025); National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI); GLSEN National School Climate Survey.
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